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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Chemo brain ramblings

Yesterday was probably not the day to spend on the computer tweeting and sharing. Yesterday was pain-in-spades Chemo day - and yes, yes, yes Lisa (who is on the video in ICU singing me Happy Birthday - love you!), I did try and do pain management but I was kinda busy, ya know?

Why is it so painful?  Well, apparently some of us can actually feel chemo working, feel it going in and spreading through the veins and stuff.  And I am one of those.  It is a weird feeling and I only confessed it to Dr Woodward a short while ago.  She said that there are some people who are extra-sensitive like me.  I am pleased I am not the only one (#thoughtIwascrazy) but slightly upset that I wasn't.  Perhaps it is just us Outliers, I asked hopefully?  No, apparently, that would make it just too easy for oncologists to spot Outliers....

***** Icky stuff coming up warning *****

So having had nearly 400mls of fluid - seroma and blood - drained off my shoulder last week, my body (which I think knows best - sorry Dr W), had filled up my shoulder with about half as much again, so it is really big, bruised, veiny and completely like the alien bursting from the stomach thing in Alien.

And then comes the chemo.  Within minutes, I can feel it working - literally crunching through the cancer in my shoulder.  It is really painful because the cancer is NOT HAPPY about this at all and, I think, fires a few exocets over the border.  I am now believing that the seroma contains it (#naturalforcefield) and that is why my cancer is not spreading.  How's that for magical thinking?

The swelling is now retreating a bit.  The cancer is sulking in its corner.  The pain is receding and I might even manage a short trip in the car later to get some "decent food" in for when Em comes back today.

Still not going to tackle taking apart the tumble dryer just yet, though.....


  1. Charlotte - is there any kind of special-shaped pillow I could make you for days like this - something shoulder-shaped? I can throw in a least a kilo of lavender if you want .... please just say. Your wish is my needle's command. Sending hugs that comfort and don't hurt, love that gives only and takes nothing and plenty of power to your Helix xxxxxxxx

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