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Thursday, 24 October 2013

Gah

So I admit to drinking half a bottle of wine last night and being a horrible grouch to everyone who rang me.  Sorry.  It was a hard day and I just didn't have the energy to talk about my treatment, me or sodding cancer.  I did have a long and cathartic conversation with Alex about something completely different to do with the farm and that helped both HWISO and I.  

We had had such a lovely time in Southwold and suddenly reality had come crashing through the door again. 

So I read up a lot on Eribulin and it seems to me that 5 months on it has given me the extra 3 months or so to get through Christmas.  That is a GOOD thing and I am immensely grateful to Dr W and the Cancer Drugs Fund - a debt that neither my family or I can ever repay.  Eribulin is not approved by NICE (see report here) and therefore Dr W had to apply for funding to treat me with it.

The next drug is Epirubicin. We are all a little wary of it as it was part of the FEC chemotherapy that nearly killed me two and a half years ago.  However, we are on a much smaller weekly dose and hopefully this will mean I don't end up allergic to water again.  Eribulin has given me back the ability to have a bath/shower for longer than 2 minutes at body temperature.  I can't begin to tell you what that is like.  Try it for a week (especially in mid-winter) and then you may understand!  Some days it was a toss up between washing your hair or your body and any kind of conditioning/shaving/depilitating was completely out of the question.....

I cannot speak highly enough of the staff in the MacMillan Day Centre at the West Suffolk after yesterday.  They were all utterly wonderful - 2 consultants (Dr W and Mr C), Carrie, the junior doctor, ALL the nurses (Yesterday's heroes were Anne, who makes me laugh whilst sticking me with needles, Elizabeth "3 trollies" who teases me, Denise with her car mad husband and Judy struggling on with a broken foot) and Jules, who runs the department from the reception desk with compassion and calmness when the rest of us would be running around, carrying a pick axe screaming "Out of my way!".

This morning, fuzzy headed, I need to do lots of admin, sort out my starfish and get on with some farm work.  I want to go back to Southwold at the weekend but MUST clear my desk.  Tonight, my beautiful daughters are coming home for 10 days half-term.  Qualify that: they are in our care for 10 days, rather than the schools but seem to be doing lots of parties!  I can't wait....I think!




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