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Thursday, 3 October 2013

Denial

So L asked me a question which got me thinking.  Am I really that strong about this whole dying thing?

So I made myself a quick list of questions 

Do I want to die?
No

Do I accept I am dying?
Yes

Do I wish it was different?
Yes

Am I sad?
Sometimes

Do I regret things?
That is harder.  Everyone regrets things.  But the mistakes I have made have shaped me as the person I am now.  And I am happy with the person I am now.  Content.  So, regretting things that I can't change is a waste of time, really.

Do I want to go back and change things?
See above.

Having been given a timeframe has enabled me to focus on the present.  Dwelling in the past is just wasting precious minutes.  Planning for the future is not an option.  So living every minute as it comes is the only way really.

Does that make me strong?

Maybe.

Do yourselves a favour.  Stop what you're doing, right now.  Put yourselves in my position.  If you only had a few months left to live, what would you do right now to be content in the present?

Then just go ahead and do it.

2 comments:

  1. I would write a message to a dear friend to thank her for her kindess, wisdom, energy and for always telling it like it is. I'd send her love, a million hugs and a huge amount of gratefulness and thanks. Much much love xxxxxx

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  2. You will never be forgotten! Not by me, not now, not ever! I love you charlotte B! Xxxx
    -Jenny C. Rocha

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