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Sunday 21 July 2013
and back into the humdrum daily life blogs.
HWISO is "recovering" from his day at the cricket yesterday, which he loved. I think he was a little disappointed that Em and I hadn't spent all day glued to the TV, trying to spot him in the crowd. We did more important things like buy food and go for a driving lesson.
The driving lesson was actually low-stress for me, until Em started pointing out the "hot boy in the maroon shirt" as we were careering down a street full of parked cars and pedestrians.
When the sun comes out again, I shall revert to my "doing everything the doctor says No to" regime but for the moment, I shall concentrate on office work and insurance claims.
We have been inundated with people who "want to see you" these past few weeks. I remain delighted that people want to see me and it has been a joy to catch up with old friends. However, I am not entirely sure whose is benefitting. Do people want to see me because they are curious? Because they feel they will find some deep inner peace because they have actually laid eyes on me? Do they feel they are sociably obliged to see me in the flesh? Is there some guilt that they haven't seen me recently? Is it ghoulish curiosity to see what someone dying of cancer looks like?
All these thoughts have crossed my mind.
However, I am choosing to believe that they are coming in droves to support my family and to let HWISO and the girls know that, fond of me as they are, they are actually wanting to do something for the family. And that cheers me.
I have enjoyed a massive boost to my social life. I hope that when I am dead, people will continue to pop over in droves and include the family in a whirl of social activity and talk about me. I feel it is very important to share memories with bereaved families, to not avoid the subject of the dead person. I also think that other people's memories and stories are an important part of filling in the gaps for the girls and the opportunity to make HWISO laugh at my more daft exploits. His tendency to shrineage and cannonisation could become out of hand, so he will need plenty of gentle reminders that I was not perfect, but always funny.
Not that I am telling you all how to behave or anything. Merely pointing out that someone dying does not mean that they should be forgotten or hidden. Death is only final for the person dying, not for those left behind.