Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Soul Searching - getting back to normal
Exam pressure, tiredness and the gloomy weather have made for a bit of bleak week here, culminating in my children lobbying my mother (and a few of my friends, methinks) to urge me to give up my advocacy work in the eating disorders world. Their argument is that it is time for me to move on and they want their "Mummy" back to normal. (See above. I am slightly disappointed to think that I used to be average...)
Talking to HWISO and my wise mother, I did point out that I feel the "Mummy" they want "back" is really some idealised figment of their adolescent imagination and probably a misty-eyed, sentimental view of when summer holidays were long, hot and always sunny, Christmas was magical and all was perfect in the Garden of Eden. (I have a slightly different view of the almost intolerable boredom of standing on cold touchlines, endless school runs and a constant 24/7 vigilance required to ensure the safety of the children, the dogs, the house and anyone else who may in the vicinity.)
So we stand at an impasse. In three years time, both children will have left home and moved on to university or a job or whatever else lies in their future. I live permanently with the sword of cancer over my head. Don't get me wrong, I have had the all clear but every ache or twinge or itchy mole - the first thought is cancer and the corresponding torture of treatment.
I wrote to the Fairy Blogmother and she wrote back some wise words to the effect that I was way ahead in the karma stakes, if I wanted to give up now but that it was not a decision that should be taken lightly and I should take time to think about it. She knows me and my natural impatience well.
I have also received a personal email from Jo Swinson about the Body Image project, wanting me to get involved. This could be a huge opportunity for FEAST UK to really talk to a lot of people involved in all aspects of this project and to lobby for eating disorder patients and their families, among the corridors of power. My specific areas of interest are the use of BMI as a measure of health/diagnostic tool and the evidence base for the diet industry (Rocking article from Sue Thomason in the HuffPo) and I do want to make sure that eating disorders are not a short one page towards the back of this issue. Who knows? Maybe we could change the world.
So a little less time spent on the internet and a lot less time on the forum, for the moment, whilst I cogitate and ruminate and try to quell my inner Boudicca........................