Darn

Those nurses - nothing gets past them.  So I have been having the sensation of cold feet recently and found myself once or twice doing a little stumble, because my feet seem too long.  I have taken to wearing two pairs of socks, even in bed, which helps a bit and the much maligned, fake-fur lined crocs have come out of the cupboard.

Apparently (and what do they know huh?), this is down to peripheral neuropathy, a side effect of the Eribulin.  So they have to adjust the dose accordingly and this takes time, so No Chemo Today. 

I promptly surprised even myself by bursting into tears.  I tried to explain (rather snottily and yes, I did wipe my nose on my sleeve!) that I would rather walk with a stick than lose the use of my right arm which is equally neuropathic due to the swelling in the shoulder being so large.

Now Dr W is all very good and all that but giving me a prescription for amytriptylene is not pulling the wool over my eyes until I have checked with Lisa that it is for pain relief, as well as an anti-depressant. I am NOT depressed.  I did not take my steroids this morning so am a bit emotional and in quite a lot of pain and a little disappointed that things aren't going according to plan and feeling a little sorry for Ali and Tiff that we will be moving on steroid high.  Of all the people to prescribe an anti-d to and expect to get away with it, I am NOT top of the list....

All the talk in the Blood Test department this morning was of how the Hairy Biker got through Strictly last night and the talk in the ward was on the dangers of aspartame.  I admit to rant when someone was talking a la Daily Fail about the dangers of sugar (as I munched my way disconsolately through tea and a large bar of chocolate).  I explained patiently about there not being "good" food and "bad" food and that moderation was the key and everyone should have a bit of a treat now and again and that diets don't work.  

I think that was why there was a stunned silence when I burst into tears about not having chemo.  I cheered up immensely when Alison stroked my hair and declared it "as soft as my Norfolk Terrier's tummy".  Little things.....