tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post2097596081786618543..comments2023-09-08T19:32:19.540+01:00Comments on Charlotte - Chatting and Chuntering: Am I supposed to clap?CHARLOTTE'S RANThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15924653828316135774noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-48843088086858363782012-08-22T13:44:58.345+01:002012-08-22T13:44:58.345+01:00I think of disordered eating as something that soc...I think of disordered eating as something that society has mistakenly considered normal, even healthy. How on earth could a parent know that dieting is unhealthy when the whole world is telling them the opposite? I don't blame parents for not knowing this, but now that I know I'm flapping my arms wildly to spread the word. <br /><br />The relationship between disordered eating and an eating disorder is interesting. We don't really know if one triggers the other, but many of us suspect it. But if so, then it is more like giving a child something you don't know they are allergic to - and were led to believe was healthy. I think it is also probable that people with an ED predisposition are going to find disordered eating whether we model it for them or not. A flu, a track season, a college rooomate on a diet, or a chance Weight Watcher's commercial.... <br /><br />We parents do need to spread the word on the futility and potential dangers (oh, and silliness) of dieting. We do have to recognize that dieting may put our loved ones at risk of mental illness if they have that predisposition. But we don't need to waste any energy in blaming ourselves for being normal people and normal parents when our kids get ill.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17219492984914810944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-47989987817071976642012-08-22T10:11:39.662+01:002012-08-22T10:11:39.662+01:00I love the blame worm thing. That is just a brill...I love the blame worm thing. That is just a brilliant expression, which I shall steal from time to time, if that's ok?<br /><br />Look, we all do stuff that we regret and as a parent, I am forever doing the "if only" stuff. It is part of being a human being and an even bigger part of being a parent. It is natural. However, if only it were as simple as my relationship with food that caused my daughter's eating disorder! <br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />xxCHARLOTTE'S RANThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15924653828316135774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-4670932241993454842012-08-22T10:03:51.607+01:002012-08-22T10:03:51.607+01:00Thank you, I do feel better now. FEAST has helped...Thank you, I do feel better now. FEAST has helped me so much and I was taken aback by this, but I think that says more about the blameworm in my mothers brain which leaps at any trigger. But I was a yo yo dieter too, until I found a healthy eating regime that worked. And I do now cringe/rage at all food talk whether weight loss, or ooh, look at me eating cake, how naughty am I. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-57926692322945767232012-08-22T09:10:00.937+01:002012-08-22T09:10:00.937+01:00Fair points and both well made, Anonymi.
YOU DID ...Fair points and both well made, Anonymi.<br /><br />YOU DID NOT CAUSE YOUR CHILD'S EATING DISORDER.<br /><br />There is a bit difference between an eating disorder (biologically based brain disorder with genetic/hertiability component) and disordered eating. Sometimes, disordered eating can lead to an eating disorder. In the majority (93% ish) of cases, disordered eating is just that - unhealthy and disordered eating.<br /><br />There is no evidence to prove that parents cause eating disorders. Environmental factors do, of course, play a part. However to blame yourself for taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally, by losing weight and helping your self esteem in the process for your daughter's eating disorder is a mighty leap. There is no evidence, despite millions being spent on research over the last 30 years, that proves any kind of correlation. You DID NOT CAUSE IT. Blaming one environmental factor as a trigger is a hiding to nothing. Sure, some people develop an eating disorder after abuse or rape or some other trauma. That is a given. However, others who suffer the same trauma do not develop an eating disorder. It is therefore difficult to argue that "just" trauma causes an eating disorder. You should also take into account personality traits, sensitivity, receptiveness to other environmental triggers, self-esteem, etc.<br /><br />There is a big difference between a "healthy and sensible" eating regime and the extreme yo yo dieting that I am talking about here. Losing weight for medical reasons, or losing weight once or twice over a lifetime is a radically different thing from going on one diet after another and gaining and losing the same 10lbs over a 15 year period.<br /><br />As I have said in the blog, this is not about eating disorders. This is about societal pressures to be thin. This is about a general malaise that affects are society at every level. This is about being kind to yourself and having a healthy relationship with food. This is not about blame. This is not about eating disorders. <br /><br />I have obviously not made it clear that I am not talking about one off weight loss - I shall amend the blog forthwith.<br /><br />I am sorry that I have made you feel this way. CHARLOTTE'S RANThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15924653828316135774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-52021873244101215162012-08-22T08:51:37.349+01:002012-08-22T08:51:37.349+01:00Oh, and thanks for the "putting my children a...Oh, and thanks for the "putting my children and childrens children lives at risk" comment too. That helped a lot as wellAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-3587416119378818412012-08-22T08:46:20.966+01:002012-08-22T08:46:20.966+01:00Setting up a lifetime of disordered eating? A life...Setting up a lifetime of disordered eating? A lifetime of low self esteem. Condemning them to health problems. Destroying their self esteem. Because I lost weight. Interesting no blame model. ThanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-60640226645604105532012-08-22T08:35:50.170+01:002012-08-22T08:35:50.170+01:00Hi, this is interesting, but it does seem quite ha...Hi, this is interesting, but it does seem quite harsh from someone who has consistently argued parents are not to blame for children's eating disorders. I have spent years being slightly overweight and hating it. When I finally took some control back and lost weight through a healthy sensible eating regime, it then turned out my daughter has anorexia and is now in hospital. I entirely blamed myself, for being overweight and miserable in the first place and then losing weight. Reading About the Maudsley method and organisations like FEAST made me think differently but this post now makes me think I have Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-31316457650345394142012-08-21T19:47:45.692+01:002012-08-21T19:47:45.692+01:00Be my guest. How about giving it to every member ...Be my guest. How about giving it to every member of staff who has ever tried to engage you in a conversation about their weight or diet? Come to think of it, you could include your friends, family, random strangers in the pub, supermarket check out girls, parents of your children's friends, your GP, your dentist, your local Parish Council, Rotary Club, any celebrity who comes your way on holiday, festival goers, campers, tourists?<br /><br />World domination complex coming on. xxCHARLOTTE'S RANThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15924653828316135774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011660132120465673.post-2531746955612077472012-08-21T14:31:17.447+01:002012-08-21T14:31:17.447+01:00Please miss, may I print this out to place promine...Please miss, may I print this out to place prominently on the staffroom wall?Rednoreply@blogger.com