Today is not a good day. I am very tired, in quite a lot of pain and extremely sensitive. It all started when HWISO and I put darling Romay on the train yesterday morning. I begged her to come back really soon, as I wanted to see her again.
"Why?", said HWISO. "Do you think that you are going to go downhill fast now?"
Well, until that moment I hadn't thought about it but am now beset with doubt. Am I? Is it obvious to everyone but not to me? Have I suddenly developed some dark aura? Do I look like I'm dying? Is there shadow in my eyes that he who loves me so, can see? Why can't I see it? Am I choosing not to? Am I in denial? Am I choosing not to face this on some subconscious level? Who am I shielding? Am I being paranoid?
Every ache and pain is now being analysed and cross-referenced. My brain was clear last week. Is it still clear? Has it gone to my liver? Do I look yellow? Long peerings at my wee and wondering. Is it in my pancreas? Is that funny pain I get after eating indigestion or is it in my stomach? Am I being paranoid? Is the paranoia a sign that it is in my brain? And so on and so forth.
Beset by panic and self-doubt , I have retired to bed.
I hate feeling like this.
Then a text pops in from darling Tiff. We are having a "mutual worry" about each other.
"What is the collective noun for a mutual worry fest?", she asks. "A frown of worries?"
Personally, a deflection of self-doubt gets my vote......
Then a text pops in from darling Tiff. We are having a "mutual worry" about each other.
"What is the collective noun for a mutual worry fest?", she asks. "A frown of worries?"
Personally, a deflection of self-doubt gets my vote......
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